Bernie Sanders Bested the Kennedys to Host the ‘Simpsons Movie’ Premiere

by · Cracked.com

Springfields from all over America competed to serve as the home of the screening

August 22, 2024

The question of which U.S. state Springfield is situated in has been a long-running gag on The Simpsons. Is it Oregon? Missouri? Some kind of extradimensional state that allows us to see multiple parallel realities at once?

Back in 2007, that debate was the subject of a promotional contest tied to the release of The Simpsons Movie. Real-life Springfields were invited by USA Today to compete for the opportunity to host the film’s premiere, and therefore become forever associated with America’s dumbest, most radioactive waste-filled town. 

Each Springfield had to submit a three- to five-minute video showing off their town. Springfield, Minnesota declined to participate, claiming that they were “nothing like the dysfunctional town on the TV show” (though they did have a monorail at one point), while Springfield, Ohio ultimately participated, even though some residents worried that they would “come off looking like a bunch of buffoons.” Other Springfields, however, took the competition very seriously.

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All in all, 14 of them entered the contest, including Springfield, New Jersey, which opted to go the “awkward middle-aged bar band music video” route.

Springfield, Massachusetts went all out for their video, with a climax that featured 300 people, and, most bizarrely, a cameo from Senator Ted Kennedy, who was clearly the inspiration for Mayor Quimby. In the video, Kennedy invites the Simpson family to join him in Springfield and “enjoy some real chow-dah,” a reference to the Mayor’s impudent nephew Freddy Quimby. The film’s producer called the Kennedy appearance his “ace in the hole.”

Meanwhile, Springfield, Missouri’s production reportedly involved “15 film crews, 9,000 extras and 1,440 doughnuts.” But the eventual winner was Springfield, Vermont (by a margin of less than a thousand votes), despite the fact that their video didn’t boast any splashy celebrity cameos, or a James Cameron-sized budget. The Vermont entry simply featured a real-life Homer Simpson chasing a giant donut through the town, and it was all filmed by a local 17-year-old. 

The losers weren’t exactly gracious, accusing Vermont of “ballot stuffing.” One angry commenter claimed that the online contest was “just based on who could cheat the most.” 

Tim Kavanagh, the TV personality who played Homer in Vermont’s entry, insisted that their win was on the level. “Trust me, we’re not savvy enough (to cheat),” he told reporters at the time, arguing that the victory was due to the fact that their video was the only one that actually “looked like a Simpsons episode.”

So this tiny Vermont town ended up hosting the “yellow carpet” premiere of a major motion picture at the local 100-seat movie theater

Also in attendance was Senator Bernie Sanders, who posed for photos with Homer and Marge, and addressed the gathered masses alongside a member of Phish. 

Which could explain why Homer endorsed “Col.” Bernie Sanders for president in 2016.

You (yes, you) should follow JM on Twitter (if it still exists by the time you’re reading this).

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