Girlfriend of slain Brooklyn activist Ryan Carson shares memories, grief on X

The Brooklyn woman who watched as her activist boyfriend was fatally stabbed in a random attack at a Bed-Stuy bus stop in October is having a tough holiday season without the “love of her life.”

More than two months after Ryan Carson was killed, Claudia Morales wrote “this is about to be the hardest xmas of my life.”

“I am not bitter about other people’s loves in the wake of losing Ryan I am if anything even more in awe of it but it does hurt so much to witness sometimes,” she mused in a separate Dec. 24 post.

With the holidays approaching, Morales felt “truly terrified of the next two months because i don’t know how i’ll make it through christmas and new year’s and my birthday and valentine’s day — four of my favorite days, four of the best days i got to share with ryan — but i am going to look it in the eye,” according to a poignant Dec. 15 post on X.

Morales, 28, is often “caught off guard by unexpectedly painful moments” remembering her slain boyfriend, she said in another X post.

“i want this year behind me but i can’t stomach being in a year ryan was never in,” she wrote on Dec. 5. 

Three days earlier, she posted, “every time i see a show i was supposed to see with ryan it feels like ripping my own guts out.”

She has frequently recalled memories of Carson, 32, who was known as a beloved social-justice advocate, and their relationship in heart-wrenching social media posts. 

Images of Morales and Carson smiling in selfies, posing at a baseball game at Fenway Park and screenshots of sweet texts he sent to her outline their journey.

In a Jan. 27 message to Morales, he said, “I feel so lucky that I get to have you in my life as someone to lean on and grow with and I’m excited to keep doing that and both becoming stronger from it.” 

The couple had been dating for almost a year and a half when an unhinged madman – who police later identified as 18-year-old Brian Dowling – stabbed Carson three times.

Morales pleaded with the assailant during the harrowing, caught-on-camera attack, which occurred at 4 a.m. on Oct. 2 as the couple was coming home from a wedding on Long Island.

A day after the killing, Morales shared a screenshot of a note she found in Carson’s phone, which read, “When you get right down to it, all I want is to love Claudia more than she’s ever been loved, which is frankly all she’s ever deserved.”

“He did, he did, he did,” the self-proclaimed “widow” captioned the post.

“Early on with ryan before i knew we were in it forever i would say he was either going to be the worst breakup [of] my life or the person i married but it turns out it was a secret third thing,” she wrote Oct. 20. 

“i do not recommend the love of your life being killed in front of you,” she posted on the same day.  

Dowling pled not guilty to murder and weapons charges. Attempts by The Post to reach Morales were unsuccessful.